“What beer should I drink when reading this author?” It’s a question I ask myself on a regular basis. I was inspired to commit some of my favorites to paper when I read an Esquire Magazine post that paired beers to football teams. A little cute. Essentially they just attached a good local brew to each team. There is a science to matching beer with anything, though: food, parties, type and severity of bad day, and yes, authors. I realize that many writers vary in style and tone from book to book, but as with a brewery’s particular strain of yeast, every one of their books tastes a little like the others.

How do I choose? Every pick has to do with the personality of the writing and of the writer herself. Subject matter, setting, sentence structure, attitude, nationality, political bent, story arcs, hairstyle, and ability to hold liquor. Lets pull a few recent reads off my bookshelf.

•  Billy Collins: Are you allowed to drink beer while reading poetry? Well, no one’s stopped me yet. Man up and try something powerful and brooding like Maudite, a strong Belgian dark from Unibroue that can (and will!) fly you across the River Styx in a canoe, as promised on the label.
•  Jonathan Franzen: Known for his family epics, his fascination with birds, and his floppy, writerly hair, Franzen is best read with something a little green and a little crunchy, like Peak Organic’s Pale Ale – down to earth and still pretty waspy.
•  E L James: You really have to drink to read her. I know; I tried. But there’s no question here: Lagunitas’ A Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’. 
•  John Irving: The man wrote “In Defense of Sentimentality,” for God’s sake – leave the hot chocolate at home. What is required here is an American sour, like Flying Dog’s Sour Cherry Ale, to keep the reader puckered, not suckered.
•  Toni Morrison: I tried really, really hard to like her writing and be a good liberal woman…but that shit is weird, right?! Hoptical Illusion from Blue Point Brewing Company may also have you seeing things, so you’ll be in good company. One of the weirder nights in my 20s involved multiple Hoptical Illusions and a guy named Manuel who gave me free burritos and had illusions of his own.
•  David Sedaris: He is a very funny man, so what better to shoot out your nose in laughter than a milk stout? Like elementary school all over, but this time fun, share a Left Hand Brewing Milk Stout and make jokes about cream.
• Zadie Smith: It would be so easy to pair her with an English style beer, so I’m going to. Redhook Brewing makes a solid ESB that tastes so dry you’ll forget you’re sloshed. I don’t find Smith at all bitter, but I’m terribly jealous of her talent, and the extra special bitter bites back.

But I haven’t read (or even drank) everything in the world. Tell me what you drink with your go-to authors.