Judging Beer by Its Cover

I believe most of my bookish friends will back me up when I assert that YES, in fact, you CAN judge a book by its cover. I hold that that the same does NOT hold for beer; in fact, many of my favorites have downright ugly labels. (Ahem, Dogfish Head.) But I’d like to share some of my favorite tasty, artsy beers because they look good all lumped together. What follows is a mix of well-illustrated, graphic, eye-catching, and imaginative label art. Click the image for a better look at it; web addresses are below.

This is making me drool a little. I’m sure there’s more out there I’ve yet to taste–what’s your favorite beer label?

*Beers left to right, top to bottom:
Flying Dog (Ralph Steadman!)
Left Hand Brewing
Pretty Things Beer and Ale Project
Sixpoint Brewery
Oskar Blues Brewery
Surly Brewing
Brooklyn Brewery
The Duck-Rabbit Craft Brewery
Cisco Brewers
Redhook Brewing
Southern Tier
Rogue Brewing

The “It Could Really Be Much Worse” Valentine’s Day Beer Tasting

Celebrate true love

Happy Valentine’s Day Eve, everybody! I intended to review chocolate beers today and was eagerly anticipating Southern Tier’s Choklat, Heavy Seas’ Siren Noire, and Brooklyn’s Black Chocolate Stout. But there were none to be found at the beer store this weekend! Apparently all the people who like to drink their way through the holiday have good taste in beer. Fortunately another related theme quickly appeared. In the same way Christmas is not really all about giving, Valentine’s Day is not really all about heart-shaped truffles.

Doggie Style Pale Ale, Flying Dog Brewery, 5.5%
Initially we’d grabbed some of Flying Dog’s Raging Bitch, but then discovered this even more appropriately-named brew. It’s an English style pale ale, and therefore more bitter than I am used to; it reminds me of an ESB. There has to be some joke about being bitter and bent over, and Ben and I struggle to be the first to make it. No one wins.
B: It starts out fun but has a harrumph of a finish.
L: A harrumph?
B: There’s a sour downturn. Overall unsatisfying.
L: Don’t try too hard.
B: …Yeah, I’m going to sprain something.
At one point Ben actually says “If you close your eyes and sip it you could imagine it as the best Bud ever. This really could be much worse” Oof. We each finish our halves without serious injury, but were both left wishing we’d grabbed the Bitch after all.

Lucky U IPA, Breckenridge Brewery, 6.2%
We are both encouraged by this IPA’s brilliant orange color, but immediately disappointed by the taste. As I learned the hard way, handsome things are not necessarily worth your time. Continue reading

A Matter of Taste II: Pairing Music and Beer

Beck and Jack vie for my heart!

“What beer should I drink while listening to this band?” This is a question I run into nearly every night around 7:30 when Ben’s about to start cooking dinner and I’m doing yesterday’s dishes. I turn up the stereo in the other room so we can hear the music over running water and sizzling butter. After pairing beer with authors, setting my evening drink to music seemed the natural next step.

Let’s start by having a ball and a biscuit, baby. Jack White often screams along to our grilled cheese-making, usually in White Stripes form. I suppose it is no surprise that I’m secretly in love with Mr. White, considering he resembles my Mister a good bit. (He’s pretty good looking for a boy.) How easy it would be to suggest a Red Stripe for my White Stripe? How easy, indeed. Here’s what matches White: a black IPA. Try a 21st Amendment Back in Black or a Fade to Black from Left Hand Brewing or even an Iniquity from Southern Tier (an imperial). All strong, bitter and dark as nightmares–same way I like my rock stars.

The Black Keys, while also one of my favorite driving-around-Ohio sing-along bands, is also a great cook-along band. While Ben is slicing potatoes and beets onto a cooking sheet, I’ll be wagging my butt along to the El Camino album, which naturally has a van on the cover. The beer in my hand? A rye ale. It tastes like the bright green fields of winter crops you pass on your drive up to Akron, and it tastes like the rubber processing plants you pass on your way out of Akron. Founders Red’s Rye P.A., mentioned earlier, and Sierra Nevada’s Ruthless Rye IPA. Not for the faint of heart.

When we’re cooking up some particularly sensual meal, like guacamole or something, we turn to Lana Del Rey, whose voice will never break glass, but could maybe glue it back together. Continue reading

LF & SN Forever!

Good Beer is Born Here

After I took stock of my year’s best beers, I concluded that I am really infatuated with Sierra Nevada. When I admtted to myself what a crush I had on them I did what any mature adult would do and stalked them on the Internet. What follows is a selection of what makes this particular brewery so dreamy.

Sierra Nevada’s business plan is easily compatible with my life philosophy, something I can’t say for many other for-profit institutions. (I’m scared of making money.) For example, they believe in living sustainably and try to run a business that leaves as small a footprint on our planet as possible. Their brewery in Chico, California runs in part on solar energy collected from their land through one of the country’s largest privately-owned solar arrays. They also collect excess energy to reuse through heat recovery devices on brew kettles and boilers and even recycle the CO2 created during the brewing process.

The brewery also knows the importance of community. Though Sierra Nevada is one of the largest breweries still considered “craft,” they maintain a presence in the town of Chico. At their Taproom and Restaurant you can find meals cooked with vegetables from their farm and quaff an Estate Homegrown Ale brewed with the organic hops and barley harvested from their back 40. In 2000 they opened The Big Room, an auditorium that seats 350 live-music lovers. I’m thinking of moving to Chico. Continue reading

Top 12 Beers of 2012!

Cheers!

We’ve entered that dead man’s zone between Christmas and New Year’s; a week long sugar- and family-hangover that floats heavy over the couch while you sit and watch sequels of Christmas movies and ponder the impending death of another year-full of dreams. Hm. So to distract you, here’s another arbitrary end-of-the-year list! Llalan’s Top 12 Beers of 2012:

12. Edmund Fitzgerald Porter from Great Lakes Brewing. Since I’ve moved back to Ohio, this brewery has played a large role in my evening imbibing. Last January I was reminded that even the coldest Midwestern storms can be warmed by this beer — itself a tribute the power of The Lakes’ fury. One of the best porters on the market, which I continue to buy regularly despite the risk of having the Gordon Lightfoot song pop into my head.

11. Left Hand experienced a brief flurry of attention when their Milk Stout came out in Nitro bottles. At a favorite bar, the manager passed around a pint of freshly poured Nitro, which rolled and cascaded like a draft Guinness. I overcame my unease at sharing a glass with eight virtual strangers and decided yes, it was worth it.

10. Flying Dog has long been one of my favorite breweries, and not just for Ralph Steadman’s inexplicably terrifying label art. Their biting Raging Bitch Belgian IPA has clawed its way to the top of the pack, despite the gaping wide comic opening it allows my sweet mother. Continue reading

Dear Santa, I’d Like a Beer.

I *Heart* Clever T-Shirts! Courtesy TheRoamingPint.com

Have a beer-lover to buy for this Christmas? (If not, add one to your wish list. We’re great people.) The easiest gift is sticking a bow on top of a new or favorite bottle and plopping it in the stocking. We’re easy to please. But if you’re one of those that discourages early-morning drinking on a holiday, I’ve got a couple other suggestions:

As many of you already know, I like books. I spend all day surrounded by them, talking to writers and readers, so I’m partial to the beer book as a  gift. These are a few of my favorites. (Yes, these are all linked to my own bookstore’s website. Go to Amazon, I dare you.)

The Naked Pint: an entertaining and easy-to-read guide about everything-beer, written by two ladies I aspire to be like someday.
Great American Craft Beer: by Andy Crouch, a renowned beer writer, this guide takes the reader through the US, style by style, brewery by brewery.
The Beer Book: a beautiful catalogue of beers from around the world, photographed and explained in the elegant style DK Publishing is known for.
Fermenting Revolution: a history of beer from its roots as a female-led trade to present-day commercial brewing and how beer and breweries are improving our world.

BeerBooks.com is a good place to check for quirky and/or rare books on beer. On the reading theme, there are numerous beer- and beer brewing-related magazines available. Beer Advocate is one of my personal faves; Draft is another. BA is for your beard-and-flannel, make-your-own sort of beer enthusiast; Draft, your sweater vest-and-corduroys, hosts-tastings-and-uses-real-glasses sort of appreciator. Continue reading

Imperious Imperials and Sexy Stouts

Spoiler Alert! This one wins.

“You can really taste the chics!” Ben quips after his first sip of Dogfish Head Chicory Stout. Upon review, this means nothing, and was in fact a harbinger of the nonsense to come. This tasting of stouts was brought to you by Ben and me and only Ben and me. The pressure to keep witty banter aloft between us while maintaining lucidity nearly buckled my resolve to try all six high-powered beers. Fortunately I’m known for both my resolve and my ability to handle alcohol.

When tasting beers it’s wise to begin with the brew with the lowest percentage of alcohol by volume (abv) so as to not blow out your taste buds immediately. We tried the aforementioned Dogfish Head (5.2% abv), with high hopes for this perennially good and weird brewery, but unfortunately all we got out of it was a puckered face and a mediocre pun. The next was unremarkable enough to skip here. I began to question the prudence of taking this project on all by ourselves.

I was already feeling a bit warm at that point, which reminded me to follow my own advice. We took the next four beers out of the fridge to ensure we got the most of their flavors. The next stout was from Weyerbacher, a brewery I highly recommend. That said, this is when I began to suspect imperial stouts were just not to my taste. Old Heathen Imperial Stout (8% abv) was sweet with a taste somewhere between licorice and raisins. Dry hop back, but little bitterness — too sweet, like those soccer moms you suspect are popping Valium in the back of their minivans. It is a good beer, but not my beer.  Continue reading

Pairing Beers on Thanksgiving: It’s All Relative

Uh, pass the beer, please?

Winter arrived in Ohio at approximately 4pm Monday afternoon. The weekend had been suspiciously warm and there was something eerie in the air. Some kind of evil was approaching and it was set to the “Jaws” theme song. As soon as the weather broke and flurries floated in the streetlights, I knew: Thanksgiving with the family.

Thanksgiving is by far my least favorite holiday. Kids and pets tangled around my legs, strangers in Cosby sweaters, relatives with wildly differing politics who like to talk politics. But I will admit that these events became far more endurable and entertaining once I reached legal drinking age.

Any seasoned beer drinker / relative of mine knows you must head into the Turkey-Day Battle with a plan. Allow me to help you fill your Arsenal of Ales with the proper ammunition. Keep in mind: these people knew you when you were four and probably have photographic evidence of your awkward stage. Choose wisely.

First comes the cheese and olive plates and catch-up with the grandmas. Start with a light beer, one with a delicate flavor and low alcohol content. Try a pils perhaps, or a small pale ale, as these will offset the richness of the cheese and will clear the palate better than those silly little pickles you love but can’t pronounce. And yes, I know it goes against your gut, but you need a session beer to start with. You’re going to be entrenched here for a while and it’s best just to accept this. I urge patience and restraint; this is only the first time you’ll be asked why you don’t have babies yet.  Continue reading

How to Become a Beer Snob

And proud of it!

When I was little, my dad drank Busch. He called it his “skunk juice,” which made six-year-old me giggle, because it did, indeed, smell awful. This is also the man who once told me he got drunk on orange juice, a claim I shared with my third grade teacher — her expression was concerned in a way I didn’t understand till many years later. By the time I had my first (and only) can of Busch, I accepted it with a smile I hoped was gracious and sipped on it as convincingly as I could. How did this happen to me? And more importantly, how can you, too, become a beer snob?

One) Make your early experiences with skunky beer as unpleasant as possible. Drink as many green bottles of Rolling Rock or Heineken as you can in a tiny, stinky dorm room with a bunch of other nerds who haven’t yet learned how to drink. You’ll never drink beer in green bottles again.

Two) Set your own low standards slightly higher than others’. When you go out to bars order Killian’s or Labatt, and scoff quietly at your compatriots buying pitchers of Bud and shots with names like “buttery nipple.” Continue reading

Rauchbier: the Vegetarian’s Bacon

Ben, doubling up on the smokiness

“Are you one of those vegetarians that likes bacon?” I get this question a lot, and no, I am not, and I remind you that those “vegetarians” are not real. However, I do go a bit wobbly in the knees when a slice of smoked gouda is waved beneath my nose. (This does not happen nearly as often as I wish it did.) Smoke is delicious. Fires in the hearth, late summer bonfires, my fiancé’s breath… So it is no surprise that I find rauchbier, or smoke beer, delectable.

Rauchbier is a German style of beer created by drying green malts over an open fire of beech wood, imbuing them with a thick smokiness similar to what you find in smoked meats and cheeses. Beer Advocate reminds us not to confuse this with smoke beer, which uses peat smoked malt. The taste of rauchbier is bold and not for the faint of heart. It’s big and assertive, like you always wished you were. This is an acquired taste that demands commitment to each glass. It tastes like a beer hall with massive, hand-hewn benches. It tastes like the dark chairs and old books of your English professor’s den. And okay, maybe it tastes a little like bacon. Continue reading